Follow up

Hello Friends!

Yesterday I had a six month follow-up. Everything is fine. I am having some coughing and chronic pain, but the coughing is probably allergy related and the chronic pain is something that I will just have to live with because of the scar tissue. I realized that I will never be able to go and see another doctor at the same office because it makes me sick to my stomach just to walk in the door. The smells, sounds, I can't even use metal knitting needles (I practiced my knitting while I was stuck in my chemo chair for 3 hours) because they make me nauseous. All I want to do when they call someone into that room is give them a hug and tell them it's going to be ok. Eventually you will get through it, it will be over. I pray that it is something I never have to do again, and I have enormous empathy for anyone that is faced with the decision of doing it or in the process of it. Chemo destroys you physically, mentally and emotionally. I was a mess for close to a week after chemo. I took more meds then I have ever even thought about, and still felt terrible. I scarred my husband, daughter, family and friends for life because I was so sick and there was nothing anyone could do. But, I would do it again if it meant that no one I love had to go through it or that I will live a long and healthy life. Those are worth all of the pain and suffering.

On a positive note, Tatum had ballet class yesterday. Those little girls are so cute in their tutus! They truly want to be that premier ballerina in NYC. I love seeing her so excited to get dressed and put on slippers. After all I have been through I have finally learned to REALLY enjoy the little moments. Kids are so amazing! I hope we are able to have one more but chemo reeked havoc on my fertility (which wasn't great to begin with). A trip to the OB/GYN is in October, hopefully all is still well and we can keep trying. Send your thoughts and prayers!