DD Questions

I apologize for my absence. I have been a bit under the weather and then busy with work, so I have been neglecting the blog a little bit. However in the meantime, I have received a few questions regarding my DD (darling daughter). So here goes!!

1) Are you guys still working on another baby? Well, since we have gotten married we have always been trying to have a baby, minus the 6 months while I was on chemo. So yes, we are still trying to have a baby. However, we are not using any fertility options at the moment. We are trying to decide if we want to do that. We tried for 3 years to get pregnant and then used Clomid to get pregnant with Tatum and our first pregnancy (which ended in miscarriage). So, yes we are but not aggressively.

2) What or why has it been a challenge for you to get preg? We have had every test imaginable to find out our fertility issues, but there are none.

3) WHat is it like have an "only" child. Say you could have another, would you want to or would you like to have just one child? I would love to have one more child, but I am also very comfortable with just one. I love being able to give her everything, however that is a delicate balance. I don't want her spoiled rotten. I loved being pregnant, I loved having a baby, I loved everything, but I don't miss sleepless nights, diapers, puke, baby food, the expense, etc. However, if I got pregnant tomorrow I would do it in a heartbeat. The problem is that doing the fertility stuff is VERY challenging and stressful, and I'm not sure if it is something I want to do. Especially when I am very happy and content with my one child.

Then there was a question about going through cancer and chemo with a little one.

4) How did you explain to DD what was happening to you? When I was diagnosed and going through cancer/chemo my daughter was 3 years old. We kept everything pretty basic. "Mommy is sick and tired. She needs rest and lots of hugs and kisses." We also got a book called Mommy Has Cancer. That helped a little bit. We also made the decision to send her to family and friends for a few days after chemo. I usually did chemo on Thursdays, so she would go on Wednesday night or Thursday morning and then come home Sunday, and by then I was usually through the worst. The one time that we did not, she was completely terrified of me being sick. She cried and was scared, I swore we would never do that to her again. It broke my heart to see her so worried about me. I still have extreme guilt of everything that I missed while I was sick. I feel like I didn't get that last bit of baby stage. I look at pictures from that time and I barely remember it. I think because I want to block out so much of it, that I have blocked out everything.

Now, she doesn't remember a lot. She knows I was sick and remembers me not having hair, but that's about it. I hope she takes away some compassion and empathy for others with differences, and a love of the color pink and pink ribbons.

So those are my questions, feel free to submit more if you would like. I am a pretty open book. I am still on MOUSE WATCH! I will let you know if anything changes there!