Cancer amazes me some days. It knows no bounds. It doesn't discriminate. Young, old, thin, fat, man, woman, rich or poor. Anyone can be hit out-of-the-blue by this crazy, unpredictable disease.
This week I learned that my DH's cousin's husband has been touched. He is in his thirties and his whole life before him and just like myself he is faced with decisions we should never have to make or at least not now. I tried to pass on some words of wisdom and encouragement. I think I did ok, but the truth is there are no good words. All I can say is that I know what those words feel like and I am here for you if you need it. I hope they were of some help.
The truth is that cancer sucks! I don't know if it's worse when you are young, but from my experience is definitely is. At 28, I should not have to decide if I will have more children and that my chances drop considerably after chemo. Also I have to make the decision of what kind of surgery to have and hope that the cancer won't return. Chemo was horrible on me, while little old ladies took it like champions and made plans for the day while they were hooked up, and I was hoping that I would get at least one decent meal before the meds took hold and I wouldn't be able to eat for 3 days. Then on top of it I still had to be Mommy and try to take care of my child while feeling terrible or send her to family and miss time with her because I felt terrible. Now, I live each day worried that every cough or headache, bump or bruise, could be the cancer coming back. For anyone that knows me, I am a terrible worrier, so this is not a good thing for me!
But, despite all the things that make cancer suck, there are great things too. You meet amazing people who have a different aura to them then anyone else. People who live life to the fullest because they have faced the thought of death. I don't know if I live as full as I could, but I am trying. I definitely appreciate the people in my life much more than ever. The people that really stepped up while I was sick are so amazing. The generosity and love is overwhelming. I will never be able to say thank you enough to each and every one of them.
There is an amazing new song out by Martina McBride. My DH and I both cried when we heard it.
MARTINA MCBRIDE LYRICS
"I'm Gonna Love You Through It"
She dropped the phone and burst into tears
The doctor just confirmed her fears
Her husband held it in and held her tight
Cancer don’t discriminate or care if you’re just 38
With three kids who need you in their lives
He said, "I know that you’re afraid and I am, too
But you’ll never be alone, I promise you"
When you’re weak, I’ll be strong
When you let go, I’ll hold on
When you need to cry, I swear that I’ll be there to dry your eyes
When you feel lost and scared to death,
Like you can’t take one more step
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I’m gonna love you through it.
She made it through the surgery fine
They said they caught it just in time
But they had to take more than they planned
Now it's forced smiles and baggy shirts
To hide what the cancer took from her
But she just wants to feel like a woman again
She said, "I don't think I can do this anymore"
He took her in his arms and said "That's what my love is for"
When you’re weak, I’ll be strong
When you let go, I’ll hold on
When you need to cry, I swear that I’ll be there to dry your eyes
When you feel lost and scared to death,
Like you can’t take one more step
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I’m gonna love you through it.
And when this road gets too long
I'll be the rock you lean on
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I’m gonna love you through it.
I’m gonna love you through it.
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